So I just discovered Manfeels Park - parody of my favourite Jane Austen book, Mansfield Park, making it just that much better - and oh god, am I loving it. This one in particular struck me because, during the immediate aftermath of the UCSB shootings (which happened a few hours from where I live, and made me afraid to go outside for about a week, since I get a lot of street harassment in this neighbourhood), we all know that #yesallwomen took off on Twitter, and I opened up about some of my experiences. A guy followed me when all this was going on.
Okay, nothing too out of the ordinary, right? And I checked his feed and he was humbly saying “this just shows me how much I need to educate myself” and all that sort of thing, so I thought “great, he’s open to educate himself. Follow back.” Less than three days after the shooting, however, he apparently reverted back to his natural form of “women say they want nice guys, but always choose assholes,” and “I’m a really nice guy, but that won’t get me anywhere.” I felt a bit sick, but didn’t immediately unfollow. However, that same day I tweeted about something, I forget what now, and he made a somewhat sexually suggestive comment. I ignored it, but unfollowed him.
Maybe a week or so later, having forgotten about him, I tweeted about not wearing pants. Oh my stars and garters, can I stop clutching my pearls long enough to stop the presses?!? I live in Southern California, it’s fucking hot here. I live in an historical building from the early 20s, so it has no AC and no heat, and I can’t have my own (installed or portable) because this building is protected. Yeah, not going to be doing that again. Anyway, it was fucking hot, I’m on disability due to chronic pain due to nerve damage, and I need to get as comfortable as I can. That’s all I care about. Creepy McLecherson pipes up with “You’ve got my attention…” Ugh. Ignored.
Then I suddenly missed Alaska, and was looking to see how cheap/expensive it would be to live there. I posted some listings that would be great for two people and jokingly asked who wanted to move with me, since I already know which friend I’m going to re-enact Grey Gardens with in a few years, when we officially give up on life. Greasy McManmeat pipes up again with “I’m interested, if you don’t think that’s creepy,” or something like that, and yeah, I do think it’s creepy, guy who has never even tried to have any sort of conversation with me, but felt totally comfortable filling his Twitter feed with suggestive comments to young ladies, once I went back and read his latest tweets. I realized he’d been trolling the #yesallwomen feed and cherry picking young ladies he’d been interested in, and trying to make it with them. Where’s a vomiting emoticon when you need it?
My friend, the future Big Edie to my Little Edie, called him out for being creepy, and he blew her off by saying “I refuse to think it’s creepy unless I hear it from her directly,” “her” being me. So yeah, I jumped in. Don’t be blowing off my Big Edie! I did about a 5 tweet diatribe saying that he is creepy because he has no interest in talking to me, only at me in sexually suggestive situations, and it made me feel like a caged bird being stared at by a hungry cat. He apologized for making me feel that way and said it wouldn’t happen again, and that was supposed to be that.
Except haha, you know that wasn’t it. About half an hour after the apology he came back to Twitter and said something to the effect of “after looking over my actions, I found that I’m not to blame. I did nothing wrong.” So, basically “sorry not sorry my creepiness makes you feel like a faceless piece of ass, bitch. This is your issue, you deal with my objectification.” I blocked him, since he was still following me, but we all know blocking someone on Twitter is about as effective as holding up a square of toilet paper to fend off a knife attack. He was subtweeting the shit out of me, responding to every single fucking tweet I posted immediately after I posted it. Oh, and he always referred to me as his stalker. Really, bitch? Obsessively troll my feed and subtweet instantly, yet I’m stalking you? I didn’t look at your feed for over a week after I blocked you. And I’m glad I did go back, because it was getting really fucking scary.
See, I’ve been through this before. I had a guy stalk me online back in 2003 or so, to the point where he announced he was flying out to California and I needed to meet him. Whaaaaaat. I said I couldn’t, thankfully because I was legitimately moving that week, but it freaked me the fuck out. This old stalker guy would troll through all of my online presence and draw pictures of me and everything I liked and email them to me. After I said I couldn’t meet him he threw a huge fit, saying he wasn’t coming out here to see me, and I was vain and stupid for thinking so. And how did he know that’s what I thought? Oh, just that he created a bunch of false personas and kept hammering away at me via email and MySpace until I was so paranoid I locked down everything online to people I only knew in real life to get him out of my private dealings. A friend found this creep on a celebrity fan forum, raging away about his “stalker” (me). Eventually I made one public post, advising him I knew all that he was saying and doing in his continual harassment, and if it didn’t stop immediately, I would take all my screengrabs and printouts of his rants to the DA, who was interested in working with his state’s police on the matter. He deleted everything and nearly disappeared. Every few years I pop back to monitor him and he still seems to be over me. Or, he knows to keep that shit off the internet.
So no, fucking moron Twitter stalker that USES HIS REAL NAME, AND WHO WORKS AT A UNIVERSITY WITH UNDERAGE AND BARELY LEGAL FEMALES, I’m not your stalker. But I can fucking ruin your life with one phone call. I know you’ve blocked me back because, just before I locked down my profile for a week to try and deter you and retweeted something about men that harass women often doing so under their real name, and that must have scared the panties off of you, which is why you blocked me and locked down your shitty, dull profile. So go ahead, dive off that cliff, princess. In your mind I’m sure it was totally necessary.